Hidden Oasis

Aaah what’s better than Sushi and Cocktails on a hot day? Half price sushi and cocktails on a hot day!

As fate would have it while adventuring in a 36-degree heatwave with my dear friend Ivana, we would stumble on one of the best restaurants I have been to in ages.

Where is this place? Kalk Bay! Kalk friggin’ Bay people! I know, compose yourself. For my international readers, Kalk Bay is a seaside gem on the False Bay coastline in Cape Town.

Having spent money on books, useless trinkets, fudge and sunglasses. My friend and I were in desperate need of seafood and drinks.

What’s a heatwave without Caipirinhas? Nothing!

As we trekked down the main road like two unfortunate desert trapped travellers desperately looking for an oasis, we had a come to Jesus moment. It was as if we were being signalled by a choir of Angels to stop. We looked up and there was a sign that read “Half price sushi and cocktails” Sorry? In a heatwave? You perfect specimen you!

The place, Osetra. My new favourite place seriously. Amazing location. Fantastic food. Majestic Cocktails.

Why haven’t you heard of this place? It’s new! They’ve just opened and it took a God fated heatwave for me to discover it.

Here’s everything you need to know about Osetra.

SUSHI

Their sushi is amazing! I mean why wouldn’t it be? They are across the street from the sea. However, as a self-proclaimed sushi connoisseur and having lived in Cape Town for a while now, I can happily say this was hands down some of the best Sushi I have had staying here. – Shout out to Chef Jeff!

COCKTAILS

I know things taste better when you pay half for them. However, they have amazing cocktails! From Long Island Ice Tea, fresh Caipirhina’s to bespoke shots and cocktails that were created for us off the basis of our tastes. The bespoke cocktail which we’ve dubbed the Chelsea or Chivana (Chelsea & Ivana) has changed my life, I will never drink another cocktail again. Genuinely.

 

FOOD

The food is incredible! I may not have had anything cooked, however, my friend’s plate of Fish And Chips was incredible. Fish might I add, caught by the fisherman 200 metres away.

After an amazing meal and being filled to the brim with half-priced bespoke cocktails. We decided it was time to leave. On our way out we spotted a street sign with a vegan waffle menu. I turned to the manager, Zubeida and asked, ” Do you really serve that here?” She called us back in and gave us free waffles. Not just any waffle. The Creme de la creme of waffles. I mean they were delicious! If you know me, you’ll know that I am on a constant hunt for amazing vegan desserts and treats. So this was ideal.

There’s a joke here in the Cape that from about Paarl onwards you’re going behind the boerewors curtain. Pure meat eaters. Lamb is a herb in those parts. From Muizenberg onwards you’re going behind the Lentil curtain most people are pescetarian or vegan. So it only makes sense that the best vegan waffle I have ever had can be found in Kalk Bay.

Why is this so important to me?

As you’ve come to know my food allergies/ intolerances have become so severe that I am almost being forced into adopting a semi-vegan lifestyle. So finding an eatery that has all my favourites, uses fresh ingredients, has a deep understanding of the food they serve, has wonderful specials and the amazing staff is a dream!

I need you to know this is the most unbiased review in the world. During my time there, the restaurant did not know me from a bar of soap. They had no clue I was a blogger. The restaurant was mostly full, and they went above and beyond with their food and their service anyway.

Osetra, you will be seeing a lot of me this Summer.

Added Extras

They are hiring! If you are a student looking for a holiday job in idyllic Kalk Bay. Email careers@osetra.co.za

You’re welcome!

Shoot! I think I might apply for the job if there’s a staff discount.

New post Friday – Relationship Friday! It’s a surprise!

Virtual Restaurants: Are they worth your time?

Being the majestic social being that I am, I was invited to the launch of Lele’s African Cuisine, one of the first virtual restaurants in South Africa, and the only one that specialises in African cuisine.

Prior to this I had never heard of a virtual restaurant.

So what is a virtual restaurant? Well, It’s not a restaurant in the traditional sense. If your stomach is grumbling you can’t just walk in and get a table or grab a takeaway. Think of it as a “ghost restaurant” you know it’s there, you just can’t touch it.

Which begs the question, how on earth do I get my food? Aah, but that’s what makes virtual dining amazing. You simply get your food from on demand delivery platforms e.g Uber Eats, Zulzi etc.

Now back to Lele’s African Cuisine.  Upon entering the venue we received a warm greeting from the owner, Lele a.k.a Helen who shared that she actually came up with the concept in 2014 while living abroad – You see people, these things take time!

We were informed that we would be sampling everything on the menu which has about 10 items in total.  I was never ready for that 6 course meal. My Goodness, we were served absolutely delicious food. Lele’s food caters to all kinds of tastes, from the most discerning palate to someone who just wants a good home cooked South African meal. We ate all the classics.  Ranging from Meaty bone soup, to Tripe, all the way to the classic home made Ginger beer and Butter Scones.

To get an idea of what was served check the pics below.

Meaty bone soup served with mini vetkoek (Fried dough bread). Didn’t sound right, turned about to be the yummiest thing I have had in a while.

Tripe served with pap, Chakalaka and a delicious gravy.

An SA favourite – Lamb Stew and Dumplings ( Steamed bread) This blew my mind!

Another favourite – Oxtail. I’m the worst kind of person, I took this picture halfway through the meal.

Umleqwa/ Hardbody/ The toughest chicken in the world. This is a classic here in SA. These are chickens that are left to run wild, and it’s said you can taste every kilometre it has run. It takes a pro to get this remotely soft . Lele’s did an excellent job.

Scones and tea. The best way to end a feast. These aren’t your typical dry funeral scones. These butter scones break apart as you touch them and melt in your mouth. The tea sourced by a man who makes the most delicious African teas. His tea deserves it’s own post.

Traditionally if you live or work in the suburbs you would have to travel to taxi ranks or to Townships to get legit African food. Not the rubbish sprinkled with parsley that they serve at these fusion restaurants – Pap sushi?! That’s a topic for another day. Lele’s, located in Bryanston and Fourways has an almost complete reach in the Northern Suburbs of Johannesburg, and the food can be ordered via Uber Eats, Zulzi, Mr D and Order In.

Overall it’s a brilliant concept. If you are a budding restaurateur who’s thinking longevity and lower than usual start up costs you should definitely jump in on this trend.

Over and above everything I’ve told you if you just love good, hearty food that reminds you of home, or if you want try real authentic South African food you need to give Lele’s African Cuisine a try. And with the prices she has, I have no intention of cooking on a Sunday again.

 

 

Soup of the Day: Champagne

“There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.” – Colette

A lot of you want to know why I have gone cold turkey on the Vino. I put it down to Jesus and a sudden level of self awareness. Suddenly the wine no longer made me happy, it began to drain the life out of me.

Let me give you a bit of background so you understand.

Hi, my name is Chelsea-Summer circa 2016.

I cook with wine, I drink wine while I cook, I drink wine with my meal and enjoy wine as a post meal aperitif. It’s not rare for me to open three bottles in an evening as the cooking wine, can not be ingested with the meal, and the wine I drank at dinner is not compatible with dessert. Wine is one of those things about which some people obsess the arcane minutia. I happen to be one of those people.

My work day starts at 5:15am and ends at 9 am. I am a presenter. I often get liquor in gift bags at work or home. Often as thank yous from clients. I have to attend launches and events on average 3 times a week. All involving copious amounts of champagne and wine, and you guessed it… More gift bags! On the other two days if I am not recording voice overs or writing. I am eating sushi and drinking Champagne. I spend upwards of a $1,000 a month on alcohol and hangover remedies. I start early so I can end early. Drunk by 3pm, alseep by 7pm. Wake up and do it all again.

In most South African restaurants liquor is not served until 10am. At my favourite restaurants they know to bring me champagne or a whiskey sours at 10am on the dot, depending on what I am having for breakfast. The managers know me and my friends by name, and often gift me with free drinks.

 

I am the life of the party. Come Friday, I’m with the suits drinking hard liquor and mixing my drinks from here to high heaven. Minimum of 6 vodka shots. Hey we’ve done 16 before, and yes I nearly died… Never shying away from a challenge I arrived late at a party to find all my friends incredibly drunk. I needed to catch up. So I gracefully downed a bottle of Chenin Blanc in 2min 36 seconds… Probably one of the most ridiculous nights I have had. That was the last thing I remember

This is Chelsea, She’s 23, she is nothing but a shell of a human looking for solace at the bottom of an empty bottle.

Quite sad isn’t it?

In the beginning of 2017 I did a quiz with a friend. “Are You an Alcoholic or a Binge Drinker?” We did the quiz for laughs, but the outcome was no laughing matter. We were both told that we were binge drinkers, he was diagnosed as a stage 3 high functioning alcoholic and myself a stage 2. There are four stages of high functioning alcoholism and at 24 this perfectly mild mannered child of God was well on her way to becoming a full blown alcoholic.

So I stopped. Same day. It’s been 6 months. Do I miss it? No. Any withdrawal? None whatsoever. I’ve lost 12kg (27 pounds) Simply from stopping, and thus ending all the intoxicated trips to McDonalds after a night out, and the mornings to Andiccio 24 for a 5am pizza or KFC for hot wings as a hangover cure. And believe me when I say it’s such a joy to wake up everyday and not have a hangover.

My spiritual life has improved tremendously. My life is centred on God and his plans for me, and everything else comes after that. Ever since I made the conscious decision to stop my self-destructive behaviour, I have come to the conclusion that I have a very addictive personality, and that I can’t afford to be a drinker or a smoker. Especially with the personal, career and spiritual goals I have set for myself.

Do I think that people who drink are bad people? No.

Would I touch a drink again? Probably not.

Am I telling you to stop? No

I would however, encourage you to try not drink. Even if it was for a week. If you drink as much I did the changes will be tangible. The detox will be rough. The truth is I now feel better then I have ever felt, I look my age again, and I was beginning to look like an old hag.

I’m hoping that sharing my story will help someone, who is on their way to where I was, to stop themselves before they find themselves in a situation they can’t come back from.

Here’s a fun fact, all binge drinkers will not become alcoholics, but all alcoholics were once binge drinkers. I’d hate for you to fall between the cracks.

If you would like to talk or ask questions you can mail me – unfilteredchelsea@gmail.com

New posts every Thursday* Next week is a good one!

We’re talking Cheating. Is it wrong? Or has it become a normal part of modern day relationships?

 

 

The Bill of Doom – Should Men Always Pay?

Should men pay for dates?

YES.

Thank you for reading my blog and don’t forget to subscribe.

I kid! I kid!

Seriously though? Should men have to pay for dates? The feminist inside me says absolutely not! I am a made woman, and If you want to eat I can pay for you, me and the table behind you.

However, I am of the belief that if a guy asks me out on a date, that he’s subliminally telling me ” I have money, and I’d like to spend it while trying to get to know you”

Rule #1 : The person who asks you out is expected to pay, unless it’s a female then at least go halfies. Truth be told, I don’t respect any man who I go out with and says “Shall we split?” – I know, I’m a walking conundrum. A BuzzFeed quiz once told me I am the worst kind of person – High Maintenance that thinks she’s low maintenance.

Rule #2: I honestly believe in equality in relationships, which is why I believe woman should definitely treat their partners with a night out at a really high class joint – Like KFC! Nothing says “You’re the one” like two pieces of fried chicken and coleslaw.

Rule #3: If it’s a guy you’re not familiar with always order what you can afford, and pull the reaching for the purse trick to see if he’ll stop you, if he doesn’t – Girl bye! Pay your half and never answer his calls again, unless he’s German. It seem to be a thing with them.

Rule#4: If he’s taking you to a fast food joint on a first date and he didn’t fly you there in his Helicopter, because he wants to see what life is like amongst us peasants. This blog post is not for you. He’s already showed you what his ideal date is and what the rest of your life is going to look like. Block him and move on.

Look! Everyone has their own individual dating rules and standards. Some of us, more ridiculous than others. However, I think the most important thing is not to sell yourself short. There is a reason you have the standards that you have, and there’s absolutely no need to settle.

Money is overrated, do what makes you happy. And if the two of you have the same outlook on finances, life and politics, then stick with him. – Seriously! The day I meet a man who believes that Salmon on pizza is a sin equal to pronouncing the letter D in the word “Gadget” is the day I know I’ve met the one.

But! And it’s a big but, so I can not lie. I strongly believe in traditional roles in relationships (with the male being the provider) – And it is on that basis that I can’t be with someone who has an expectation for me to pay the bill or even go halfies. Unless it’s my KFC treat day of course.

I’d like to conclude by contradicting myself. On average men earn 19.7% more than women so actually you don’t even deserve my KFC treat day. You need to pay.

Okay love you bye.

Don’t forget to subscribe

**Next week we talk weave life and if natural girls are realer than us girls with horse hair. Jokes! I know the horse is from Brazil.**